My Wife Doesn't Want Me to Get Screened

With some amusement, I just read How to Get Your Husband to Get Screened on About.com. Why with amusement? I have the opposite problem.

My mother died at 69 of colon cancer. None of my other immediate ancestors (parents and grandparents) were diagnosed with it, but my mother had a single sibling. Her brother, my uncle, also died of colon cancer; I'm not sure of his exact age at the time, but he was only in his middle 40s.

When I was 44, I had a sigmoidoscopy at the recommendation of my doctor. He felt that my family history indicated it was necessary, even though the recommendation for the general population might have had me wait a few more years. When I was 48 and seeing a new doctor, I had a colonoscopy. Though the earlier sigmoidoscopy had not uncovered any more serious than slight diverticulosis, my new doctor believed that recent research showed sigmoidoscopy missed too many problems in at risk individuals. The colonoscopy, thankfully, found nothing more than the earlier sigmoidoscopy.

My problem? On both occasions, my wife was highly critical of my decisions to accept my doctors' recommendations and have the procedures performed. She engaged in name calling, saying that I was a hypochondriac and worse. She accused me of selfishness because of the monetary cost, ridiculous because we both work for good salaries and have good, if not exceptional, health insurance that covered most of the cost. She complained bitterly about the time involved, and of being imposed upon for having to pick me up from the clinic after the colonoscopy.

Though it might not happen soon, I will certainly be told by my doctor at some point that it is time for another screening. Any suggestions for getting my wife to stop complaining about my getting screened?

Okay, my first thought was "Wow, she must not like you very much." But I thought about it some more and realized that maybe she's afraid the test might find something. The other things you mentioned (the reasons she gave you) don't seem to hold water. There must be something else there, something deeper. Assuming she does actually like you, my guess is she's simply afraid.

My suggestion is to talk to your wife and try to get to the bottom of the real reason she doesn't want you to get screened. Maybe you can try to reassure her by giving her some "good" facts, like most colorectal cancer is curable if found early. NOT getting screened is what makes it one of the most deadly cancers. Your getting screened is more likely to ensure you're around longer, cancer-free, than NOT doing it "just in case" they find something.

I don't know if any of this helps, but I hope so. Please let me know how things go and good luck!

Please remember that I am not a medical professional. I offer my input as a neighbor, a friend, sitting at the kitchen table talking about what's on your mind and trying to help if I can. This is not medical advice. Please don't consider it medical advice or pass it on to others as medical advice. Thanks.

_{Source: Colorectal Cancer: Early Detection. American Cancer Society. 4 Apr. 2006. 24 Jun. 2006 [http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6X_Colorectal_Cancer_Early_Detection_10.asp].}