Stubborn, is he? Few things are as frustrating as your partner refusing to do something important for his health. Gay men are at higher risk for colorectal cancer. Know why? Because they don't get screened as often. But if your partner won't listen, he won't listen, right? Maybe. Or maybe you just need a different approach.
1. Be Reasonable
When he tells you you're worrying over nothing, give him the facts. In the United States, one out of every 17 men will develop colorectal cancer. It's the third most common cancer in American men (behind lung and prostate cancers). About 75% of people who develop colorectal cancer are 50 or older with no other identifiable risk factors. Although colorectal cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths each year in the United States (for men and women combined), getting a colonoscopy can reduce the average person's risk of dying from the disease by 90%.
2. Set an Example
If you're due for screening, go first. This may be beneficial in a couple of ways. First, it proves that you consider the screening important. Second, you can fill your partner in on any unknowns that may be preventing him from getting screened. What was it like? Did it hurt? What exactly did they do? How embarrassing was it? Armed with insider information from someone he trusts, he may be better able to make a decision.
3. Make it Easy
If you've been screened for colorectal cancer before, tell him what it was like. If you haven't, research it. There are different screening methods. Find out about whichever one your doctor recommends. Then, either talk to him about it or print the information and let him read it on his own time. If he decides to go, make sure you're available to drive him home after the procedure. Make the rest of the day nice, complete with chill time of his choice. Most screening methods involve pumping air into the colon; later on, it comes out. So, "making it easy" for him may include ensuring there won't be anyone around later on who he wouldn't want to pass gas in front of.
4. Be Sweet
"I love you. I want you around, so I want you to get this done." Can you think of any health-related thing that you weren't too keen on but did because you knew it was good for you? (Stopped smoking, got a prostate exam, etc.) Bring it up. Make it clear to him that you consider taking care of yourself your obligation to him, because he loves you. And that sense of duty extends to doing things for him that you might not do if you only had yourself to consider. If you have kids or grandkids, use 'em. "Little Susie would be crushed if her daddy got sick; as Little Johnny grows to be a man, he sure could benefit from your perspective."
5. Be Sour
Research shows that by age 50, one in four people has polyps, which are little harmless bumps that are sometimes the early warning signs of colorectal cancer. Even though 90% of colorectal cancer is curable if caught early, more lives are lost each year in the U.S. to colorectal cancer than to breast cancer and AIDS combined. Those are scary statistics. So, if you feel you need to pull out the big guns, here are a couple of suggestions.
"Your refusal to get screened is selfish. I need you. The kids need you. If you're not going to bother to get a colonoscopy, then I might as well not bother getting a prostate exam either." (You shouldn't actually do that, but sometimes it's useful to throw it out there to get your point across.)
"You're right. Why take advantage of modern medicine? Let's just let nature take its course, like in the good old days, when people died of 'natural causes' and the life expectancy was 40."
6. Be Political
"Well, wouldn't Reverend Phelps be so proud of you for recognizing that you're a piece of crap and unworthy of good health." Nothing more needs to be said.
See Page 2 for More Tips on Getting Your Partner Screened
